September 2011
36 posts
Love.
This bizarre concept that I read about all the time, that I hear a few hundred times a day in music, that I hear people talk about as if it is as normal as breathing. I have never been in love, and truly I don’t even know if I can. I cannot envision ever letting enough of myself go to someone else. I haven’t even found a family member or friend whom I can be that close with or that...
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That strange time of night.
Some days I really feel my grip on reality slip. Today was one of those days. My dreams are too vivid, my life too bland, my head too full of stories, and my perception too capricious. I can’t trust my eyes or my ears as they lie to me. Only in touch do I find the real. Focus is impossible as my mind darts from one idea to the next, constantly reliving the past and debating whether anything...
A nice new blade makes for a nice calm night. I’ve been needing this for days. Sometimes the shit just piles up a bit, you know?
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Has this blog become
a mini-strange journal of sorts? Perhaps.
How is it possible to feel so much life and passion thrumming through my veins and not explode? How have I come to the end wherein the energy becomes too strong and the only way to cope is to disconnect, to become numb until I can bear to make it through the next hour? So much life. Such strong rushes of power, but it is too much for one person to...
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“Harry dripped on Malfoy’s welcome mat and said: “I’m sorry. I’ll go. It’s not -...”
– Drop Dead Gorgeous by Maya (via pedro-martines)
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A Rambling Mess
I’m having one of those days where all I can do is look around me and think of how monumentally fucked up the world is right now. It’s my fault. I see things on too big of a scale. I look at how incredibly amazing this world and this universe is, how it took billions of years for the sun to form and collect all of this star stuff around it, eventually making our earth, leading to...
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Fears and Fights
I just want to know what the fuck is wrong with me. I feel like if I had a name for it, that I could fight it. It lies within unlabeled, a goddamn blank manila folder that is stuffed full and held closed by an over-stretched rubber band. Words. The names of things. Descriptions. I can usually get around them if I need to, but for this, for this I need every advantage I can get. When fighting an...
August 2011
15 posts
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Thoughts of the Evening
For me it is like gasping for air, or having lungs too full to take in another breath. It is surges of energy, rushes of intense adrenaline that leave me clenching my muscles to relieve the feeling. Things that crawl just under the epidermis, so close and so painful and if I can just get them out everything will feel better. It is not about sadness or anger or frustration or depression or...
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rambling around intoxicated on omegle. yep, welcome to my friday nights.
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